Sharp Remarks: Our Top 10 Favorite Quotes by Stewie Griffin

Written by celeste

The foul-mouthed, football headed baby bent on world domination has said some pretty insightful things about life, love, sex and Star Trek. Here are our favorite moments – the wittiest and wisest of Stewie Griffin quotes.

#10: Love Thy Trophy (S2E5)

Little Asian Girl: Hey Stewie, do you want to complete our rainbow?
Stewie: Dear God, I’ve been adopted by a Benetton ad.

#9: Not All Dogs Go to Heaven (S7E11)

“Picard has it all over Kirk. He’s poised and measured and doesn’t wear a cheap rug.
Rather he accepts even baldness with a quiet cool that says I am in command, you are safe with me, I will cradle you in my arms through any crisis in any galaxy.”

#8: Ocean’s Three and a Half (S7E7)

(Upon seeing the newborn baby)
Stewie: Who is that angel!?
Brian: That’s Susy Swanson.
Stewie: You don’t say!
Brian: What like you have a shot with her?
Stewie: Are you kidding? We’ll go together better than Hannity & Colmes!

#7: The Kiss Seen Around the World (S3E8)

“Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I’m expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.”

#6: The Juice is Loose (S7E9)

“Huh. He’s a worse dad than a New York City investment banker.”

#5: Holy Crap (S2E2)

(Reading the bible)
“My my, what a thumping good read, lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two by fours. . . . I’ll say, you won’t find that in Winnie the Pooh.”

#4: Brian Does Hollywood (S3E2)

“Easy! Massage the scalp. You’re washing a baby’s hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.”

#3: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas (S3E16)

“By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.”

#2: Fox-y Lady (S7E10)

(Hiding himself in the cardboard box from a tv set)
“Look at me! I’m an Iraq wall vent in ten years! Naw . . . we’re gonna take good care of them.”

#1: Death Has a Shadow (S1E1)

Stewie: Excellent, the mind control device is nearing completion!
Lois: Stewie, no toys at the table. (Takes mind control device.)
Stewie: Damn you vile woman! You’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.

 Loading ...

First on Mars Family Guy Triva Contest Winner Announced!

Written by DavidOnMars

First on Mars announced the winner of its Family Guy Trivia Contest today!

Congratulations to the lucky winner, Karim Yergaliyev from Maryland!

From all of us at First on Mars, thanks to Karim and everyone who participated in the contest, and don’t forget to head over to First on Mars where you can find, organize and share links to over 13,000 free on-demand episodes from 400 popular shows on 60+ networks.

Stay tuned for info on the next contest to enter for your chance to win!

First on Mars Family Guy Trivia Contest

Written by DavidOnMars

Look out Family Guy fans!  First on Mars launched a Family Guy trivia contest today, and the winner will take home a Flip Mino HD! Freakin’ Sweet!!!

Entering the contest couldn’t be easier. Simply visit the Family Guy Trivia Contest page, answer two questions and your done!

So you think you know all there is to know about television’s favorite dysfunctional family???  Then head on over to the contest page and submit you answers. And when you’re done, head on over to First on Mars where you can find, organize and share links to over 13,000 free on-demand episodes from 400 popular shows on 60+ networks, including Family Guy.

Good Luck!

Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy

Written by DavidOnMars

Entertainment Weekly recently named Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy and American Dad!) the Smartest Person in TV.  Being the highest-paid writer in TV who has built a billion dollar empire out of his hit shows and signature animation and comedy style, it’s no wonder that title is his.

For those who just can’t get enough of the off-beat humor, Seth also launched his Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy, a series of animated shorts only available online.  Devoid of any central plot or theme, the Cavalcade shorts tend to hit on Seth’s more bizarre, indulgent side, which is just fine for the hardcore Seth fans of the world.  Eleven webisodes currently exist with more expected to come up to a final count of 50.

Recently added to the First on Mars guide, you can now use FOM to find and watch all eleven Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy episodes, including this little gem about some cats who have their staff meeting “crashed”:

Of course you can watch your fav Family Guy episodes and American Dad episodes at First on Mars.  And keep an eye out for the new Family Guy spin-off, The Cleveland Show, currently set to premiere in Fall 2009.  Freakin’ Sweet!!!